Seeking Advice: Would You Be With Someone Who Is Always Out Drinking With His Friends?


From Anonymous:

My Hmong American people, please tell me would you be with someone who is always out drinking with his friends? I have been in the US for 4 years now I came with my parents I was suppose to go back to Laos with my parents but I found my boyfriend and want to be him we’ve been together for one year now at first I never know that he is an alcoholic until I moved to live with him in Wi this last spring. He’s the type of guy that every woman wants he is very nice very friendly kind and humble he makes me meal every morning and night and cleaning the house never complain and he is really cute too. But the thing is he drinks a lot he would drinks everyday after come home from work he drinks like 6 to 8 bottles of beer a day and every weekend with his friends too. He would always leave me alone at home and go out drinking with friends won’t come home until 2 or 3 am in the morning he took me with him sometimes but I would always sat alone at the corner watching him having fun drinking with his friends he would never care to come ask me if I’m doing ok until the bar close then he came to look for me😭 I’m so sad and cry alone sometimes I think I’m with wrong guy. His friends their girlfriends go to the bar too but they always with their girls holding hands they never leave their girl alone. He drinks too much he can never save money to buy me anything or foods he rather treats buddies beer instead of me I asked him I want to buy food or something I wanna cook he would always said he doesn’t have money but why he always buy beer for his friends😭☹️ it seem like he loves his beer and friends more than me. I left him once to CA to live with my cousin he called me texted me he cried so much beg me to come back I told him I’m not the girl for him I don’t drink never drink and I don’t like to put that much I like to focus on life more I told him wont go back but a week later I was really sick found I was pregnant my cousin told me I can’t stay at her house when I give birth to the baby she told me to kill the baby😭 why would she said that I cried so much I I was so lost so helpless I want to keep my baby I miss my mom so much I wish my mom was here with me. 3 days later my boyfriend came he didn’t know I was pregnant he wants me back he said he will change don’t go out no more he called my parents he promised them to love and take good care of me I didn’t want to come back but I’m carrying his child I want to keep my baby no mater what shit I have to go through so I decided to come back with him. I don’t know will he ever change or just saying for me to come back now my baby is already 18 weeks and my boyfriend is barely go out but still drinks everyday I don’t know I want to stay with him after the gave birth I don’t want an alcoholic husband I’m so sad this is happening to my life tell me what should I do? But I also love him so much and I know he loves me too I don’t want live with a drinking beer lover....

Comments (2)


He may need professional help to aid him in getting back on track. I hope you and him are able to work things out. Best of luck to you both. Let me know how I can help my Hmong brother.

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  • NploojNtsuab KavLaus

    Tus me ntxhais/nyab, this is the growing trend of Hmong social norm now. Honestly, i hated because I was one of them and have been doing this for the 10 past years and probably will continue to do so until my livers dried up beyond HBV symptoms. I do notice that the elders or and newly emerging leaders are starting to realize that HBV is among us and have slowly trending down. I drink with them only on the weekends and never do in my spare times, i don't even have a bottle of beer at home. My wife hates it when i hang out with anyone at any occasion that have beers/liquor, but we're just too polite to say NO. My only recommendation for you is to STAND UP and STAND YOUR GROUND FIRMLY like my wife did. She only "allows" me to drink during the weekends ONLY and would kick my ARSE to the curb if i drink during the WORKWEEK (weekdays). this got me out of the drinking habits and cool off my LIVER---saving it. Hopefully you find peace!

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